Is courtship the answer? | Part 3 | PLEASE SAY NO to 50 Shades…

Courthsip IS the answer - post header JPG


Courtship may not be the answer for you but neither is Fifty Shades of “Degradation”.

I come to you today with pain… actual, physical pain in my heart (and that is just from looking through Google to find articles meant to support my cause)


First let me say, I have not – AND I WILL NOT – read the book (or watch the movie) that I am here today to beg you not to expose yourself to! I refuse to expose my mind to such… well, FILTH… is – in my humble opinion, too kind a word to describe it. Pure evil might be closer to correct…



I’m not even comfortable saying the name. I’m sure I really don’t have to – pretty much every person who clicks on this link already knows what I’m talking about but just in case you need a bit more help, here are some links that back up my plea.








(NOTE: I don’t agree with petitions and I am not endorsing the signing of the one presented in the following article in any way but the attached article is worth reading)


OK now – if you didn’t know what I’m talking about – you do now.


I’m sure there are more… hopefully lots more but those are all the articles I could stomach. Even within these articles, as tame as they are in comparison, there is so much horrific imagery that comes through – I can not begin to imagine how anyone ever convinces themselves that they are actually enjoying such things. And that’s just the people reading it or watching it. I don’t even want to think about how someone convinces themselves to actually do these things.



Once upon a time, I thought things like this had their place, that place being far far away from the norm. I thought the line was thicker between the romantic and the erotic. Boy, was I naïve…

I should have remembered from the descriptions in Genesis 18 – that these types of sin have been around since the very beginning.

So here are my arguments: And I’m going to keep this short because while it MUST be said, there’s only so much my nerves can take.


Do not let yourself be fooled


Argument 1 – Sin is sin, no matter what pretty cover you put on it.

It really doesn’t matter what you can convince yourself of. Technically speaking a person can justify anything – given enough ammunition and know-how. Lawyers do it every day. It’s what has earned so many of them such a nasty reputation. What really matters is why you feel the need to justify your actions. And there is a mile wide difference between defending principles and justifying actions.

To Defend: 
1. resist an attack made on [someone or something]; protect from harm or danger.
“we shall defend our country, whatever the cost”
To Justify:
1. show or prove to be right or reasonable.
“the person appointed has fully justified our confidence”


…and that’s all I’m going to say about that because it’s not an argument anyone can win – you either see the fine line or you don’t.


Argument 2 – It may be an old argument but it’s a good one… Just because someone else is doing it does not make it true or right for you to follow suit!

I can not begin to tell you how many times a man I dated (before I discovered courtship) used the excuse… “Everybody is doing it.”

First of all, there is NO WAY everybody is doing it! It’s a statistical impossibility.

Second of all, SO WHAT! Just because he is or she is or they are, it does NOT mean it’s the right thing for me or for you or for us. And even if it is in your opinion, that does NOT mean I have to follow along just because you say so.

Case in point – NO WOMAN wears high heels because she just LOVES how they feel or how easy they are to walk in. If that were true, we would NEVER see a woman take off her heels after a night out or a dance and wince in pain or sigh in relief or whimper in agony.

Before you start jumping and down and screaming hypocrite – let me say this – for the record, no, I do not wear high heels. I have flat feet, and because of that, I do need a tiny bit of lift to the back of my shoes so I look for shoes with a raised heel but I’m talking about an inch or less. I haven’t worn the impossibly tall, ankle-breaking, feet torturing heels since college. I wear sneakers in the winter and flip flops in the summer and I have one pair of dressy sandals that I pull out for really… really, really special occasions.

Women wear these impossibly high, ankle-breaking, devices of foot torture for one of several reasons (listed below are three)

  • they want to look sexy

This is where peer pressure and social pressure comes in to play. Some person, at some time, has told them that wearing high heels is just one of many things that will make them look sexy.

  • they want to be taller

This is another area where pressure from peers and social situation has been at play. At some point in our illustrious history, the devil convinced women and men that they had to conform to the “norm”. Even after thousands of studies have been performed to show that super skinny people or super tall people are not the norm – everyone seems to think that they have to look like the chosen few.

  • they want to be taken seriously

This one is by far the most disturbing because there isn’t even an ounce of truth to it. There is nothing about a high heel that makes anyone look at you in a more serious light. It’s just another one of the devil’s lies to make men lust over women.


Argument 3 – Would you consider it abuse if you read about it in a newspaper instead of between the covers of a novel?

This is the easiest one for me but the most difficult one for most other people – mostly because of the difference between defending and justifying.

First ask yourself this – if you read an article about a young teen girl in California having been the victim of these types of behaviors, would you have considered it erotic? No, you would have considered it abuse. The perpetrator would have been arrested, convicted and jailed and you would cheer.

Now ask yourself this – If you found out that your teenage daughter was participating in these kinds of behaviors, would you cheer – or would you feel the desperate need to hunt down Mr. Grey and beat him to within an inch of his life?


It doesn’t matter if it’s consensual or not. It doesn’t matter if it’s by choice or not. It doesn’t matter if it’s “fiction” or not!

Abuse and degradation are nothing to take lightly or as something that is OK as long as we’re talking about two adults, and oh yeah… because it’s fiction.


I used to see this expression and take it very differently. Now I see the danger in it – which just goes to show that perception is everything.

And while you’re thinking that over, think on this too…



Please say NO to 50 Shades… this Valentine’s Day!CLICK TO TWEET!


Stand with us – Make this Valentine’s Day a day of TRUE romance!CLICK TO TWEET!


Remember the true meaning of Valentine’s Day this year – Say no to 50 Shades of yuck!CLICK TO TWEET!


And yes… I will be back next week with more!

© Rachel L. Miller 2015


Disclaimer: For now I will allow comments to this post. I reserve the right to delete any and all derogatory or abusive comments and if I must, I will turn off comments. 


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