I am a single mom, have been from the very beginning.
I grew up in church but religion doesn’t always leave a whole lot of room for a relationship with God. And my mother and I both have discovered in recent years that churches are very good at teaching you the rules but not why God intended it to be that way.
They were also very good at telling you everyone has to be saved but there was very little guidance about how that actually worked and what you should do after you “gave your life to Christ” . . . aside from follow the rules, of course.
So we’ve both spent a large part of our lives making bad choices and I can only imagine how many times God has had to send his angels in to protect us from what could have been disastrous results. He must have big plans, maybe not for us specifically but at the very least for the amazingly wonderful children he has blessed us with. And without mom – “Grandma”, we would not be able to do what we are doing right now. Which is to homeschool them and get them into God’s word in a serious way.
Over the past five years, we have made sweeping changes in every area of our lives. We’ve eliminated cable TV and even most movies/TV shows we used to watch on DVD. Our clothing choices have changed drastically and we’ve even begun wearing head coverings. My daughter keeps asking “Why are we being Amish?”
Recently I attended an ATI conference and while we were there God convicted me about the way I speak to my children. My mom has been telling me for years that I sounded too harsh sometimes when I was upset or “at the end of my rope”. All moms go there at some point.
We attended our first conference last year and we were exceedingly blessed by the wonderful speakers but this year was even better. At the conference, one of the speakers was talking about how important it is to forgive those who have wronged you. I kept waiting for him to touch on how to deal with people who don’t want forgiveness or who refuse to accept any responsibility for the hurts they’ve caused you but it never came. Instead God spoke to me (I’m getting better at hearing and listening to that still small voice) and he led me to release years of built up bitterness. Bitterness I didn’t even realize I had in me. After that, without even realizing what I was doing, my attitude started to change.
It was not an instantaneous thing and it hasn’t been easy but I am tickled to say that everyone has noticed the difference. My entire family has commented on the changes in me. My son is thrilled with my “sweet voice. My mom is grateful I’ve stopped speaking so harshly to both kids. My relationship with my father (which has always been a bit rocky) is much better now too.
He is so good to us. He is so patient with us. He is so much more forgiving than we deserve. And I am Thankful for it. Otherwise, we’d be sunk.
So take a minute to examine your past. If there are hurts there that you might be holding on to, take a few minutes to get on your knees and release those hurts and the bitterness that goes along with them.
You’ll never be the same.
God Bless You!
© Rachel L. Miller 2013