Being single and adhering to God’s will | From the other side of marriage

I read an article this morning – and it inspired the following post.

So, being single at 28 doesn’t mean I’m desperate, but it does mean that I’m choosing to sacrifice my desires for God’s desires and plan.

TODAYSCHRISTIANWOMAN.COM

I’m Not Desperate, Just Single.
Please stop stigmatizing my singleness

 

. . .

First off, let me say – I LOVE this article. It touched my heart and gave me renewed sense of purpose.

Second, I will tell you that I live on the other side of this discussion – not just because I am in my thirties, but also because I am single, having married and divorced in my twenties.

For years . . . absolutely years, I heard “Just give yourself some time. You’ll decide to move on at some point and meet someone new.”

Well, I tried that. Before I re-dedicated my heart and life to God, I tried NOT being married and having the full-on relationship. I went from one-night stands to serious committed relationships to casual dating and “hooking-up”.

And I have to point out right here that I had a pretty impressive track record for a girl who was told over and over and over in high school that she would never be attractive to men unless she dropped about 50 pounds. Amazingly enough, I did lose about 30 pounds after my divorce. And then I got involved in a relationship that lasted over two years – and when that one ended, I was actually heavier than I was in high school. So I spent my wild years in relationships with men (not all handsome, but not all dogs either) who found my plus-size figure attractive enough. . . No, I’m not condoning my behavior – I’m just pointing out that size doesn’t make as much a difference as everyone would like to think.

OK.

After I decided my crazy, mixed-up, messed-up ways were not the best way to go about things, I decided I needed to get married again.

Clearly, since I reside once again in the world of the single life, that was a mistake.

I did not wait for God’s leading.

I did look for signs from God, but I was seeing them in the wrong places and still going about things all the wrong way. So it’s really no wonder that things ended . . . badly.

And once again, I heard the well-wishers who proclaimed that all I needed was to give my heart time to heal.

 

But here’s the thing (and it’s really the most important thing) . . .

It’s not about what I want.

GOD knows – so much better than I ever could – what is the right way for me, what is the right thing for me.

If I had listened to God . . . if I had waited for God . . . my life would be very different right now.

I might be married . . . I might not . . . But my life would definitely be very different.

THIS TIME, I am determined to wait for God’s plan. I am determined to wait for God’s will! And if that means I spend my life without a husband, then THAT is what I am going to do!

It doesn’t matter that my entire family looks at me like I’m damaged goods.

It doesn’t matter (though it really does hurt) that the families in our home-school organization look at me like I’m being rebellious and strong-willed. I know why I’m doing this and IT. IS. WORTH. IT!

So, from the other side of marriage, I have to agree with Rachel on this aspect, at least – it is more important that we do what WE KNOW GOD wants from us and WE have to make the choice to FOLLOW HIS leading!

 

IN GOD I TRUST!

Pretty Signature RLM

My newest project!

 

OK…here we go.

We (and when I say “we”- I mean mom) have decided that I need to take my writing to the “next level”. Since we are currently in limbo regarding the status of my Novel – “A Mother for Leah” – we have decided to do something a bit different.

While we wait, and I write more on book 2 of the original series, I am also writing a novella from the companion series – Hearts of Hope Springs – which we will be self-publishing.

Won’t you come along on the journey…

 

Tonight, I have added a grand total of 2,040 words to “A Choice For Karen”.

YAY!

 

Pop back over Monday for an update and a look at what “A Choice For Karen” is all about.

Then stop in on Friday for more updates and a special character interview with Karen herself.

 

My current plan is to work on both novels at the same time, and I plan to have “A Choice For Karen” ready for release by July!

Happy Birthday to me!

I may even offer the eBook free at some point as a special birthday gift FROM me!

Good evening and God Bless!

 

P.S. Pray for me please… I’m just the tiniest bit trepidatious about this step but I’m determined to put my work out there so it seems the logical conclusion!

 

© Rachel L. Miller 2015

“Mama” was not harmed in the making of this film.

OK… THANK GOD for the ability to change your mind. My mind to be more specific.

I said a long time ago… when I first saw the ads… that I would NEVER watch “Mom’s Night Out”… NEVER!

And I want to take a moment right now to Thank God for giving me the ability to change my mind. Because I rented the movie this afternoon and we watched it this evening (when I was taking a break from editing) and let me just say… WOW!

I mean WOW!

If you are a mother, Grandmother, ever had a mother… WATCH this movie! BUY this movie! Then buy a copy for your mother, go over and give her a big hug and watch it with her – afterwards telling her what an amazing, wonderful, terrific, fantastic, BLESSING she is to you and everyone around her!

 

Let me just say that I am weird. I am, I’m not afraid to admit it.

I am not one of those moms who ever desires a “night out”.

In fact, I home-school and I work from home so I spend twenty-four hours a day with my children.

And that is how I like it!

When I hear other moms talking about how much they enjoy having time away from their children, I actually feel sorry for them. I’m not judging, I just feel sorry that they are not able to see the amazing gifts that are right in front of them.

CHILDREN ARE A BLESSING!

I was told by multiple doctors that I would never have children.

Now I have two beautiful, healthy, happy, intelligent and incredibly energetic children so clearly the doctors were wrong.

But that is mostly because God had a different plan for me, a plan he did not choose to let those doctors in on.

And I know what you’re thinking right now. You’re thinking I feel the way I do about my children because I was told I couldn’t have them and then I did and so I am a clingy, freaky, weird, smothering mommy dearest.

NOPE!

Could NOT be further from the truth.

There were times when my son was a baby, at 3am, when I had slept a grand total of oh I don’t know… 20 minutes, after feeding, rocking, playing, bouncing and changing him… and he was STILL screaming at the top of his lungs – that I wanted to be anywhere but where I was at that moment.

And there were times when I watched my sweet little girl, my six-year-old girl, my baby, go off to ballet without a care in the world, telling me “I’m good mom, you can go.” that I wanted to cry. I should have had more time! I should have had YEARS before she was ready to let go! Right!

Wrong.

They are as different as two children can be and raising them has been an enormous adventure and I cherish every single memory! I haven’t loved every moment and I don’t know that I want to repeat some of them… ever… again, but I do cherish every memory I have with my children.

I’ve been through the drawing on the wall, the broken nose when your toddler doesn’t want you to pick him up, the screaming princess who doesn’t like that you dropped her onto the soft dirt so she wouldn’t tumble down the concrete steps with you, the screaming, the biting, the food-throwing, the spit up on every single item of clothing you own, did I mention the screaming – OK I did, good… oh yeah and the amazing magical poo that somehow misses the diaper entirely ad lands on your brand new Easter outfit!

But I would not trade any one of those moments because… along with them came the first time they each said the word “Mama”, the first hug, the first kiss, the wet and sticky kisses I get every day, the “Love You”s and the sweet little fingers that sign from across the room or through the window when I run to the store by myself to get milk. (and yes, I miss them – even when I’m only two blocks away – I’m a freak, I know)

 

So I don’t judge anyone who wants to be away from their children… I just feel for them. And then I pray that someday they will realize just how amazing those children are. And hopefully before they have grandchildren – because that’s when most people seem to get it.

When they’ve already missed the chance… when their time is up… when they are trying to tell their children to enjoy this time with their kids because they grow up so fast.

Yeah, they know!

 

But I know too and I am so blessed!

I was not going to watch “Mom’s Night Out” because I was sure it was one of those kind of movies. One of the movies that tells moms they NEED “me-time”.

SO NOT!

In fact, I’m gonna go return my redbox rental tomorrow and then I’m going to go buy this amazing movie! Because this is a movie I am going to want to watch over and over and over again!

And each time, I will cry a little, laugh hysterically and then go hug my mom and tell her how amazing she is!

And then I will hug my kids and know that I am doubly blessed!

 

Oh, and when you watch the movie – watch it to the very very end of the credits… trust me!

 

GOD bless you and Good Night!

© Rachel L Miller 2014

2014 ACFW pre-conference mix and mingle!

It’s that time again!

This is my first year to attend an ACFW conference and the pre-conference mix and mingle sounds great so I decided to participate. I hope it will help me learn new faces and get to know people for my first year at conference :)

If you would like to participate, click the link above and join in! There’s even a link-up at the bottom of the informational post with links to the different people who are participating.

Here’s what to do:

– Copy/paste and fill out your own answers (you don’t have to answer all of them!) in a post on your own website and paste the URL to that post (not your home page) using the handy link-up tool.

– Click through the links below to get to know other conference attendees before St. Louis!

Here are the questions and my answers!

DSCF1377

 

Name: Rachel L. Miller

Location: Nashville, TN

What you write: Amish fiction

Your tagline: “Inspirational Fiction Straight From Heaven”

Place in the book world: Pre-published (I love this phrase!) author not yet represented. Editing book 1 and writing book 2 of my Windy Gap series.

On a scale of hugger to 10-foot-pole, please rate your personal space: LOVE hugs!

The unique talking point that will get you going for hours: Books! Starbucks! My kiddos!

Loved ones at home you’ll be missing: I’ll still be missing them but they’re coming with!

Conference goals we can pray for? That I follow God’s path during conference and for general calm. I’ve been to two other small conferences but nothing on this scale.

One or two ways we can help you build your platform? Yes! You can like my author page on Facebook, follow me on twitter and of course I always love having new followers on my blog as well!

 

GOD BLESS and hope to see you all soon!

Have a GREAT Day!

©Rachel L Miller 2014

Shouldn’t weekends be more productive?

You would think that having all day to write and edit and work and play and have fun – we would get more done than we do in a typical weekday… right?

Wrong.

Monday I wrote roughly 3,100 words.

Tuesday I wrote roughly 1,300 words.

Wednesday I wrote roughly 5,000 words – in two different stories.

Thursday I wrote roughly 4,000 words – again, in two different stories.

Friday I wrote 1,800 words in one story and 300 in the other.

Saturday I wrote about 300 words in each story.

Today I wrote roughly 4,400 words in one story and about 10 in the other.

 

Monday was the first day of my new writing schedule and I was absolutely thrilled with my progress!

Tuesday was actually a bit low but still more than I had been getting in an average day of writing.

Wednesday and Thursday blew me away. I could not believe I got that much writing done.

And then Friday. The total would have been great, except for the fact that it pretty much took me ALL day to get that much.

 

And then yesterday…

 

Now, before I decide to be too hard on myself, I do have to mention that we spent a great deal of the morning and part of the afternoon – not at home. And once we got home, there were other things to do and procrastination often takes charge when you’re up against a deadline – self imposed or not.

 

But I’m wondering why it is that, yet again, it has taken me ALL day to get the word count I achieved.

Now granted, I had to hope up and down about a thousand times to fetch things, fix food, refill drinks, mediate squabbles, clean messes and go for a walk outside while my dare-devil son roller-bladed but still – ALL DAY.

And here it is 10:00 at night and I am just now getting to my self-imposed goal. I reached 10,000 words on story 1 Thursday and I wanted to have 10,000 words in the other today. And I do… just a bit over to tell the truth.

But isn’t it interesting how our word counts go up and down. I used to wonder why writers would complain about struggling to get their daily word counts… until I  joined their ranks!

 

So it’s time to stop complaining and time to get down to business.

 

Let’s just see how many words I can get written next week.

 

God Bless and Good Night!

©Rachel L Miller