Being single and adhering to God’s will | From the other side of marriage

I read an article this morning – and it inspired the following post.

So, being single at 28 doesn’t mean I’m desperate, but it does mean that I’m choosing to sacrifice my desires for God’s desires and plan.

TODAYSCHRISTIANWOMAN.COM

I’m Not Desperate, Just Single.
Please stop stigmatizing my singleness

 

. . .

First off, let me say – I LOVE this article. It touched my heart and gave me renewed sense of purpose.

Second, I will tell you that I live on the other side of this discussion – not just because I am in my thirties, but also because I am single, having married and divorced in my twenties.

For years . . . absolutely years, I heard “Just give yourself some time. You’ll decide to move on at some point and meet someone new.”

Well, I tried that. Before I re-dedicated my heart and life to God, I tried NOT being married and having the full-on relationship. I went from one-night stands to serious committed relationships to casual dating and “hooking-up”.

And I have to point out right here that I had a pretty impressive track record for a girl who was told over and over and over in high school that she would never be attractive to men unless she dropped about 50 pounds. Amazingly enough, I did lose about 30 pounds after my divorce. And then I got involved in a relationship that lasted over two years – and when that one ended, I was actually heavier than I was in high school. So I spent my wild years in relationships with men (not all handsome, but not all dogs either) who found my plus-size figure attractive enough. . . No, I’m not condoning my behavior – I’m just pointing out that size doesn’t make as much a difference as everyone would like to think.

OK.

After I decided my crazy, mixed-up, messed-up ways were not the best way to go about things, I decided I needed to get married again.

Clearly, since I reside once again in the world of the single life, that was a mistake.

I did not wait for God’s leading.

I did look for signs from God, but I was seeing them in the wrong places and still going about things all the wrong way. So it’s really no wonder that things ended . . . badly.

And once again, I heard the well-wishers who proclaimed that all I needed was to give my heart time to heal.

 

But here’s the thing (and it’s really the most important thing) . . .

It’s not about what I want.

GOD knows – so much better than I ever could – what is the right way for me, what is the right thing for me.

If I had listened to God . . . if I had waited for God . . . my life would be very different right now.

I might be married . . . I might not . . . But my life would definitely be very different.

THIS TIME, I am determined to wait for God’s plan. I am determined to wait for God’s will! And if that means I spend my life without a husband, then THAT is what I am going to do!

It doesn’t matter that my entire family looks at me like I’m damaged goods.

It doesn’t matter (though it really does hurt) that the families in our home-school organization look at me like I’m being rebellious and strong-willed. I know why I’m doing this and IT. IS. WORTH. IT!

So, from the other side of marriage, I have to agree with Rachel on this aspect, at least – it is more important that we do what WE KNOW GOD wants from us and WE have to make the choice to FOLLOW HIS leading!

 

IN GOD I TRUST!

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The Amish have it right – they really do!

Psalms 1:
1 Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful. 2 But his delight is in the law of the LORD; and in his law doth he meditate day and night. 3 And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper. 4 The ungodly are not so: but are like the chaff which the wind driveth away. 5 Therefore the ungodly shall not stand in the judgment, nor sinners in the congregation of the righteous. 6 For the LORD knoweth the way of the righteous: but the way of the ungodly shall perish.

peace5 (1)

Recently we were watching David Gibbs Jr.’s talk at a previous ATI conference about Psalm 1 – Whatever You Do Will Prosper and I realized something as I was listening.

Psalm 1 explains why  the Amish are so staunch in their faith… at least it does for me. I don’t know if it is their explanation or not but each of the three challenges that God puts forth to us in the Psalm go along with Amish philosophy so it makes sense.

“Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly…”

David Gibbs explained this in a way that I’ve never truly thought about it. When the Bible says “ungodly” here, it doesn’t mean the worst of the worst – even though that is what it has come to mean in our society. It simply means anything/one that is not of God or following God – anyone who is not doing it God’s way, in other words.

The Amish purposely keep themselves apart. They don’t do it to be mean or secretive or because they think they’re better than  us. They do it because they do not want to be tempted. And that’s really all there is to it. They do not want to be tempted by the “ungodly” things of this world.

“nor standeth in the way of sinners…”

Again, this has been twisted and misunderstood for many years. It doesn’t mean we get in their way and it doesn’t mean we follow their path. It means we do not allow ourselves to appear like sinners. Obviously we are all sinners. We are none of us perfect. But we don’t have to look like the sin or the other people who are happily wallowing in it.

And that is why the Amish are so adamant to look different, and to put forth their best. They aren’t looking down their nose at us. They just want to show the world what it looks like to be a child of God.

Another of my favorite preachers who speaks at the ATI conferences is Tom Harmon. He said in one of his sessions that “The world is sick of our theology. They want to see our faith.” – Tom Harmon. And he is absolutely right. The world is so tired of hearing us say that God expects us to do things and say things a certain way – and then those same people see us out in public somewhere doing or saying the very things we just said we weren’t supposed to.

So the Amish LIVE their faith. They live it, breathe it and show it to the world!

and this next one was what really got me…

“nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful…”

I thought that meant to make fun or judge other people openly. And, while I admit freely that I’m not perfect and I slip and do that very thing sometimes, I thought I had that one down. Wrong again! That’s not at all what it means. It means we are not to complain, gripe, whine or moan about anything.

Well the Amish certainly have that one. Someone loses a spouse – they THANK GOD. Someone loses a child – they THANK GOD. Someone loses their home – they THANK GOD. The Amish are astonishing. And WOW wouldn’t I LOVE to have their perseverance.

I’m not there yet… far far far from it in fact – but I’m working on it. And God is working on me too. He always will be and I am extremely thankful for that!

 

1 Thessalonians 5:18

King James Version (KJV)

18 In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.

© Rachel L. Miller 2014