Being single and adhering to God’s will | From the other side of marriage

I read an article this morning – and it inspired the following post.

So, being single at 28 doesn’t mean I’m desperate, but it does mean that I’m choosing to sacrifice my desires for God’s desires and plan.

TODAYSCHRISTIANWOMAN.COM

I’m Not Desperate, Just Single.
Please stop stigmatizing my singleness

 

. . .

First off, let me say – I LOVE this article. It touched my heart and gave me renewed sense of purpose.

Second, I will tell you that I live on the other side of this discussion – not just because I am in my thirties, but also because I am single, having married and divorced in my twenties.

For years . . . absolutely years, I heard “Just give yourself some time. You’ll decide to move on at some point and meet someone new.”

Well, I tried that. Before I re-dedicated my heart and life to God, I tried NOT being married and having the full-on relationship. I went from one-night stands to serious committed relationships to casual dating and “hooking-up”.

And I have to point out right here that I had a pretty impressive track record for a girl who was told over and over and over in high school that she would never be attractive to men unless she dropped about 50 pounds. Amazingly enough, I did lose about 30 pounds after my divorce. And then I got involved in a relationship that lasted over two years – and when that one ended, I was actually heavier than I was in high school. So I spent my wild years in relationships with men (not all handsome, but not all dogs either) who found my plus-size figure attractive enough. . . No, I’m not condoning my behavior – I’m just pointing out that size doesn’t make as much a difference as everyone would like to think.

OK.

After I decided my crazy, mixed-up, messed-up ways were not the best way to go about things, I decided I needed to get married again.

Clearly, since I reside once again in the world of the single life, that was a mistake.

I did not wait for God’s leading.

I did look for signs from God, but I was seeing them in the wrong places and still going about things all the wrong way. So it’s really no wonder that things ended . . . badly.

And once again, I heard the well-wishers who proclaimed that all I needed was to give my heart time to heal.

 

But here’s the thing (and it’s really the most important thing) . . .

It’s not about what I want.

GOD knows – so much better than I ever could – what is the right way for me, what is the right thing for me.

If I had listened to God . . . if I had waited for God . . . my life would be very different right now.

I might be married . . . I might not . . . But my life would definitely be very different.

THIS TIME, I am determined to wait for God’s plan. I am determined to wait for God’s will! And if that means I spend my life without a husband, then THAT is what I am going to do!

It doesn’t matter that my entire family looks at me like I’m damaged goods.

It doesn’t matter (though it really does hurt) that the families in our home-school organization look at me like I’m being rebellious and strong-willed. I know why I’m doing this and IT. IS. WORTH. IT!

So, from the other side of marriage, I have to agree with Rachel on this aspect, at least – it is more important that we do what WE KNOW GOD wants from us and WE have to make the choice to FOLLOW HIS leading!

 

IN GOD I TRUST!

Pretty Signature RLM

Let’s Get Real – Grateful!

Today is my birthday… and I am ever so much more grateful today than I was yesterday…

Yesterday I was feeling a bit melancholy. I tend to be introspective this time of year and the devil takes advantage of that to hit me hard with some things that I normally don’t even think about.

He loves to drag me down and he loves to lie to me and tell me… probably the same things he tells a lot of people… I’m not special. I’m not loved. I’m not worth anything. I’m not truly saved… the list goes on and on but you get the idea.

Thankfully, I was reminded this morning – by a friend’s recent blog post – that I have SOOOOOOOOOOO many things to be thankful for!

I have an amazing family who loves me, puts up with me, takes care of me, and tells me regularly… that they cannot live without me!

I have wonderful friends, both online and in real life, who tell me how talented and brilliant I am and how they cannot wait to see what God has in store for my gifts!

I have unbelievable talent that God has blessed me with – me… the girl who’s not special. Well, I’m not – but God obviously has some special plans for me!

I have the best, sweetest, most precious blessings of children – who love me despite my faults and shortcomings, who tell me they like me fat, like me even when I get fussy, hug me even when I lose my temper or patience, and cannot stand to be away from me even for the short time it takes to go pick up dinner and bring home.

I have had thirty-six years of blessing and love and patience from my heavenly father; who stood by me even when I turned my back on him, lifted me up even when I chose to lay in the ditch, and carried me through the storms I stumbled my own way into!

I am so very amazingly, unbelievably, incredibly, spectacularly BLESSED!

 

I am Grateful and I am Thankful and I am in AWE! And I hope you’ll join me!

 

GOD BLESS YOU!

~ Rachel

♬ HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME! ♬

 

© Rachel L Miller 2015

Waiting for God to send my Prince Charming…

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All my life I have been laughed at and berated for being a “hopeless romantic” and I am so thrilled to find out, all these years later, that THEY were wrong, not me!

I have been extolling the virtues of courtship these many weeks and I thought I should give you a bit of an idea why I care so much for it…

From the crib we are taught conflicting “truths” about love, romance and marriage. And I, for one, am sick of it. I am positively thrilled to have discovered the actual truth! And I am so glad I can now pass on that truth to my sweet little Princess.

Little girls grow up watching Disney movies, television shows and “chick flicks” that are all about romance and happy endings. Then, when it comes time for us to consider dating or marriage, we’re told that the movies and shows we grew up loving are just fairy tales. Life and love don’t really work that way…

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Happily ever after is not a Fairytale – it is a choice.Tweet this!
 

“Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it” Ephesians 5:25

That one verse says it all, ladies. A husband is supposed to love his wife in the same way Christ loved AND loves the church! HE [Christ] loved the church [us] so much that he died for us.

Not in the “I’m jumping in front of the bullet” or “I’m pushing you out of the way of the speeding car” way but in a planned, pre-ordained, destined way that HE knew from before the beginning of time HE was going to do.

Now that is love.

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In fact, it is a love that we, as mere mortals, cannot possibly understand. And this is most likely the reason we misuse, abuse and misinterpret love so often. We don’t understand what it means to love someone that much. How could we really?

We think in terms of years or maybe even decades. We could not possibly look at time the same way God does. Otherwise the concept of eternity would not be the puzzle it is for so many of us.

So how did I come to this truth so suddenly? I mean, I must have heard that verse read at least a dozen times through the years. I’ve read the verse myself multiple times. So why didn’t I get it?

I blame conditioning.

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We are conditioned by society to believe that the relationships we want deep in our hearts and souls are no more than fairy tales. Our friends, family, teachers in school, ministers at church, doctors, counselors (the list goes on and on) tell us not to expect this sort of love from a relationship in reality.

Do yourself a favor. Don’t listen to any more “helpful” advice.

Read your bible and pray. Ask your parents to pray. Ask your friends to pray. Pray for yourself and for your future spouse.

Don’t date. Give courting a try.

Think it sounds old-fashioned or crazy? Ask yourself what the most popular form of “dating” is today? Group dating is the “new” way to date! It’s safer. It’s more fun. It’s the easiest way to get your friends to approve of a guy or girl you think you are interested in. This is a form of courting.

Courthsip IS the answer - post header JPG
 

Courting really is the most intelligent dating form. You have a chance to get to know a person and you have people backing you up, opinion-wise BEFORE you get your emotions and hormones involved.
 

Sick of dating? Give courtship a try.Tweet this!
 

Broken hearts are not fun… not for anyone. And courtship is the best way to avoid a broken heart, shattered dreams and divorce.

God did not design us to fall in and out of love over and over again. He did not design us to be abused or taken advantage of. Our hearts are the most vulnerable to deception. That is why we must guard them so fiercely. Our emotions and hormones are willing accomplices in that deception. This is why it is so important to make relationship decisions with prayer and council first.

Young women: God wants you to be with a man who will love you – as he loves you, a man who will care for you and show you just how special you are to him, and a man who will cherish you – because you are precious and rare.

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Don’t rush Love – wait on God’s timing.Tweet this!
 

Don’t settle for any less than what you deserve! Hold out for that white knight! You’ll be glad you did!

God Bless You!

© Rachel L. Miller 2015

The price of freedom…

 

If you’ve been paying attention to your News feed on Facebook or twitter lately, you’ve probably seen at least one post or pic about supporting our troops… but have you posted one yourself, liked one or shared one that one of your many patriotic friends shared or posted on their own?

Have you thought about how difficult it will be for so many of them this Christmas – many of them are a world away from their loved ones!

PRAY FOR THEM!

 

Have you shared the CHRISTmas story with your children, your family, your neighbors?

We watch a lot of Christmas movies this time of year and they’re not even all religious themed but even Charlie Brown Christmas talks about the “TRUE” meaning of Christmas!

Have you given of your money or your time to those less fortunate that you?

Even on a very tight budget, we make a point to give the kids change (whenever we have it) to drop into those little red buckets that seem to be outside of every store you walk into.

Have you made a list of all the things you are thankful for – as a family, as an individual…

As we get closer to Christmas, I am reminded of the myriad of things that I am grateful for!

  • I am grateful that I live in a free country – even if those freedoms are slowly being stripped away, we still have more than most!
  • I am grateful to live in a country where I am still allowed to worship CHRIST! That may not always be the case but it is now and I am thankful!
  • I am grateful that God saw fit to send his son to us as a wee babe and I am grateful that Jesus gave his own life for us on that wretched cross – HE paid the ultimate price so that we each would not have to!
  • I am grateful that Christian/Inspirational fiction is as popular as it is (and growing in popularity of late) – because it means there are plenty of GOOD books on the shelves for me and, more importantly, for my daughter to read!
  • I am grateful for the American soldier – Marines, Navy, Air Force, Army, the Coast Guard and ALERT! They fight every day at home and abroad so that we can sleep easy – knowing that they have our back!
  • And I am grateful to have such a wonderful family! My mother is the best thing that ever could have happened to me! She is a blessing I truly do not deserve! And my children are my life! They are my everything and I only hope one day that I can be half as wonderful a mother as my own!
  • I am grateful to serve a loving, forgiving, merciful GOD – who loves me enough to forgive me every time I mess up… which is usually a lot, and who only wants the best for me – even when I don’t listen to his words.

 

What are you grateful for this Christmas season?

What do you celebrate with your family?

Do you close your eyes and thank God for the avalanche of blessings that he heaps on you each and every day?

 

GOD BLESS YOU this Christmas season and in the year to come!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

© Rachel L. Miller 2014

Turning the tables…

A few days ago, my loving mother posted all about me and how wonderful she thinks I am… what she failed to mention is that everything about me that is even remotely awesome, I learned from HER!

 

This post is to honor

Donna J. Mynatt

Donna is an amazing author, writer, influencer, reviewer, blogger, motivator and editor… not to mention Mother and Grandmother!

I have not actually yet told Mom that she’s my favorite author because she only recently let me read some of her novel: Emma’s Christmas Quilt. Last year, when she wrote it, she was very sensitive about letting me read even little parts of it so I never got the full impact of just how talented she is.

When I told her that she was talented on the level of Jennifer Beckstrand, Amy Clipston, Shelley Shepard Gray, and several other of our favorite authors, she clearly did not believe me.

She thinks I’m biased because she’s my mother but I never hesitate to tell the truth. I’m a firm believer that you should always tell someone the truth so she should know that I would not compare her with such fantastic authors if I didn’t mean it!

I could not be more proud that she is my mom… and I can’t wait for her novels to be published!

Emma’s Christmas Quilt could easily be an entire series and although, I’m not a huge fan of suspense, I will proudly read, review and promote every single one!

Donna J Mynatt, Holly Michael

She became a single mom (not by her choice) before it was common and endured quite a bit of anger, disappointment and judgement from her family because of it.

Mom always put our own needs ahead of her own, even sometimes having issues at work because she would not hesitate to talk us through something that had befallen us during our day (and in the way of children…we simply could not wait a half hour until she returned home to tell her all about it).

In 2008, my husband decided that he could no longer be in our relationship and mom immediately decided that the children and I would move in with her.

Ever since that day, mom has heard from friends, co-workers and family members that she needs to “make me get a job” and “put those kids in school” constantly.

I am so very blessed (and so are the children) that she knows they are thriving in home-school and we don’t need a change. Home-school may not be for everyone but it works for us. And we are blessed mom knows it too!

I also know that we drive her crazy at times with our mess and clutter but she loves us despite it and we find ourselves trying harder because she doesn’t fuss or give us a hard time over it.

Donna J Mynatt, Amy Clipston… and, of course, Jessie.

I would also like to point out what an amazing person mom is!

At an age when most people are contemplating an empty nest and thinking about retirement plans, my AMAZING mother decided to return to college, where she earned multiple certifications and two degrees; including her Masters in some sort of communications and technology that is way over my head!

However, when she could have taken a job that would require long hours or traveling away from home, she decided that spending time with her family was a much better choice so she works for the state of Tennessee – in a public service job. And she’s wonderful at it! Every co-worker we meet tells us what a gem she is (of course, I already knew that!)

I know I don’t tell her often enough just how much I appreciate her! Too often we don’t take time to thank those closest to us for the difference they make in our lives, hoping that they know how we feel.

Thank you, Mom, for being such an awesome person, mom and grandmother!

I appreciate you so much more than I can ever truly say!

You wrote a novel when you didn’t really have the time – mostly to inspire me! And now, because I’ve put your work out there, you are editing and finishing that novel so that it’s ready for an agent to look over!

Thank you for encouraging me, for not getting angry with me when I picked apart your suggestions and then for continuing to edit my work… even though I was stubborn as a mule.

Thank you for participating in the late night writing sessions, timed word sprints, and for always motivating me to reach for my dreams!

Thank you for putting up with my grumpiness, moodiness and for all the mornings you could have slept in but instead got up with me and made breakfast while I followed my characters’ leadings!

I can’t say enough about how much time and energy you put into being a mother, a grandmother, a teacher and a friend! You are the best of all of those that I can possibly imagine.

IMG_5399bSee what a terrific Grandma she is!

You are an amazing person… and I am thrilled to be able to call you my best friend!

I know my life is better because of you and I can not imagine another person who loves my children as much as you do!

God bless you, MOMMY.

 

©Rachel L. Miller 2014